Still a Monster. The killer of Cecil the Lion.

So when is an apology not an apology? We have been told that the American dentist, Walter James Palmer has apologised to his patients in a letter for killing the lion known as Cecil
In a letter to patients he says:
"In early July, I was in Zimbabwe on a bow hunting trip for big game. I hired several professional guides and they secured all proper permits. To my knowledge, everything about this trip was legal and properly handled and conducted.
I had no idea that the lion I took was a known, local favourite, was collared and part of a study until the end of the hunt. I relied on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt.
I have not been contacted by authorities in Zimbabwe or in the U.S. about this situation, but will assist them in any inquiries they may have."
He goes on to say:
"The media interest in this matter – along with a substantial number of comments and calls from people who are angered by this situation and by the practice of hunting in general – has disrupted our business and our ability to see our patients."

What you read is not in any way an apology but a string of excuses and passing the blame in a way that reminds you of a politician caught with their pants down. James Palmer isn’t sorry for being a monster that travels the world in order to kill animals for his own twisted amusement. You can make a safe bet that pretty soon he’ll be looking to pick up his crossbow and head out for a new victim.

Cecil the lion was shot by Palmer with his crossbow after being lured out of the wildlife reserve by the hunting party dragging an animal carcass behind their car. After being initially shot with the crossbow he was then stalked for 40 hours before Palmer finished him off with a rifle.
According to the Zimbabwe Parks & Wildlife Management Authority, two locals are facing charges for assisting in Cecil's killing: the hunter Theo Bronkhorst and a local farmer identified as Honest Trymore Ndlovu.

This ‘hunting’ experience, including the 40 hours of suffering Cecil underwent cost Palmer around $50,000. We are supposed to believe that at no point did Palmer think there was something not right, not even right at the start when they lured the lion from his protected home. Are we to believe he didn’t see the collar while posing for photos before they beheaded and skinned Cecil? Palmer is an experienced killer of big game for trophies so should know if things are dodgy, after all this isn’t the first time he’s been caught out illegally hunting.

Palmer is a monster who does not regret killing a ‘wrong lion’, only getting caught and the effect it could have on his business and his ability to then keep on killing animals around the world.
And as a final word, according to recent reports from the Zimbabwe Parks and Wildlife Management Authority, which issues hunting permits, Ndlovu did not have permission to hunt a lion on his farm. Therefore, any lion killing was illegal, and anyone involved in a hunt is a poacher.

So let's talk about my depression.

So you finally go to the doctors as your family and friends have been worrying about you, you’re not yourself. You’ve been ‘down’ and don’t want to do anything. You sit with the doctor and feel stupid as you rub your hands together and avoid looking at the doctor as you mumble about being forced to come. Life is pretty shit for you at the moment and this is embarrassing. You’re at the bottom of a deep hole and you can’t climb out, you’ve tried but the holes just been getting deeper for months.
GET OVER IT, SORT YOURSELF OUT, STOP BEING SO BLOODY MOODY.

You’ve said this to yourself far more than it’s been said to you, let’s face it you’ve failed. You’re worthless and you just want to be left alone.
Then the doctor explains that actually you’re not worthless or a failure but you’re ill. What you are showing is the symptom of your illness, what you have is a real thing and it can be treated so you can get your life back. So you sit at the bottom of your hole and feel worse, how could you be so weak? How can you tell people you’re depressed, they’ll look at you and judge you. It’s all over the news about people with depression and how they sponge off of society, they’re not right in the head. So you shuffle out of the doctors with your ‘happy pills’ and an appointment to come back in two weeks and you just want to hide away and cry.
Your family are supportive and understanding but you’re just numb, then again you’ve been numb for months. You don’t care because you can’t, there’s no spark of life just the deep hole you’re sitting in. People will judge you, they will treat you different because you’re mental, a nutter. Not that you care, the tablets won’t start to kick in for a couple of weeks and it’s not until that happens that that will worry you.
You have an illness but it’s not one society likes, it’s a shameful illness that people hate and fear. People are shunned for mental health problems, they whisper behind your back about you. You should just snap out of it, pull your socks up and stop being a burden. It’s the mental people who go on killing sprees; they’re not safe to be around.

Well to all the people who think like that I’d just like to say a nice big

FUCK YOU.

I was ill, depression is a sickness but with medicine I got better. I’m not the person I used to be because now I’m stronger and I’m not ashamed. I got out of that hole and beat my illness, it may come back again but if it does I’ll beat it again. Many people suffer from mental health and not one person ever skipped out of the doctors with a smile because they could claim extra benefits. People with long term mental health illnesses don’t sit there cutting themselves while laughing about the extra money they get. They muddle through life waiting for the next episode when there life will fall apart. Yes you may see them living their life and smiling as they walk around but you won’t see them hiding from the world unable to cope. You won’t see their loved ones bandaging their wrists to cover the cut marks so their kids won’t see or sitting by their bed worrying as they took another overdose. You won’t see the panic attacks or understand the compulsions that can drive them. There is no amount of ‘benefits’ that can make living with that worth it.
There is a reason people say you suffer from mental health problems but the stupid and ignorant will never work it out. Our government and media can spin their lies to make us an enemy, a drain on the tax paying people who don't get it. Well maybe now you may get it a little more and actually think about the truth of mental illness and how you can help stop the attacks on those who suffer from it.

MAKING A PROFIT FROM OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM.

The government is pushing for more private investment into our education system, for public schools to become more like the private school system. They want to see a profit from education, to have schools making money.
Now just how can education and making a profit go together? Well as shown with the Universities tuition fees there is a cash cow there but can a nation that insists on education for all really do that?
Well let’s jump into the future of what our education could be in 30 years’ time and see how an education system could return a profit if it is run as a business.

Well tuition fees will be a must for all children. Now the government will cover the cost of a basic education where you child learns the basics of reading, writing and basic mathematics up to the age of 12. After that student loans will be available to cover the rest of your child’s education, the amount of the loan needed will depend on the school and education you wish to purchase. Your child’s education level will depend on how much you want to spend on it, a tailored education for your child’s life needs. You will have control of what they learn about by choosing the core subjects they will study. You don’t think that trigonometry is useful then they don’t study it. You and your child have the control on what they learn about so you don’t pay for learning the things they won’t need. An individual education for every child where you decide what level of education they learn to.
The next big change will be we wouldn’t need a Head Teacher in the schools as that position would be taken up by a business manager who would ensure a good return for investors. Also would you really need every class to have a professional teacher, especially when teaching children under 12? I mean just think of the money saved if you employed unqualified people at minimum wage, after all how hard is it to teach reading and writing? All these ‘teachers’ will have to do is work from a basic government guidebook, if parents want more they can purchase extra educational needs for their children.
The next thing schools can make money from is sponsorship from big companies and here there is a big opportunity to exploit, School uniforms. Sportswear firms can sponsor a school and in return they provide the uniforms that the children wear, at a fair market price. These companies can also provide worthwhile work experience for the students by providing ‘work’ placements for children of up to 3 days in a school week. On these placements the children will learn to make the uniforms they wear, working in factories and able to build up credits that can be used to pay off their student loan when they leave school. This will see a return of the manufacturing industry to the UK and children leaving school with real life experience of working in the real world.
Lessons will be central to the new education system and here is another way to gain investment. A company or organisation can bid to provide a schools lesson plan for each subject. If they want to provide a school history lessons then for the right ‘bid’ they can chose what part of history your child is taught, science can be tailored to the needs of a company in the area so the education meets the needs of the company or organisation. Education will be about providing real life skills to the student, learning what is needed to set them up for their future. If a religious organisation wishes to ensure their children are taught the truth, according to their beliefs then they can take over ownership of a school and tailor lessons to meet the needs of their pupils. By choosing these schools parents can choose to have their children taught only what is true to their own beliefs and so protect their faith. And as the school is free to set the cost of the education they provide they can collect financial donation(tax free) to offset the cost to the pupil, even providing 'free' tuition.
All in all the future of education for profit gives the child and parent the choice and full control of what they need, a tailored education for their future in our rapidly changing world. They will learn only what they need and will have the chance to repay their student loan before they leave the education system, learning valuable work skills in the process.

My Writing Process, author blog tour.

My Writing Process - Blog Tour.
Well here goes nothing then; Rob Bayliss tagged me in this author blog tour where we all talk about our different writing styles. Rob is the author of The Sun Shard novel and is currently working on the follow up Flint and Steel, Fire and Shadow. (The Sun Shard is available from Amazon so go find it and check it out.) Now while as many of you know I’m not really an author but a story teller it seems I’ve still not been found out yet and kicked out of the author lounge. To read Robs blog on his writing process just follow this link –
http://sunshard.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/my-writing-process-blog-tour.html?spref=fb


So let’s get down to the questions and see if I can give you some answers that make at least a little sense.

1. What am I working on?
At the moment I’m struggling with two stories and working on whichever I seem to be getting the ideas for. The first one is another story based around my John the Barman short story. This is a mysterious owner of a bar where gods and all sorts of supernatural creatures go to unwind after a hard day doing their job. It fills in the blanks of what these creatures really do and think about and the day to day trials of their lives. In the second story Lucifer, Death and a group of the customers decide they need a holiday to escape the stress of work. What follows is a no experience spared ‘lads’ package holiday which includes them coping with budget airlines and ensuring you get a sun lounger by the pool. Sunburn and drunken nights abound as the group experience their first holiday ever.
The second work in progress is the ever so slightly later than promised Third Book in the Alienbutt Saga. This comedy space opera sees the hero, Piestoff Alienbutt left leading the Ick and rebels of the Outer Systems after the bloody rise of the evil Mr Fluffy. With the universe in tatters and the heart of the Federation and Coffee Houses ripped apart old enemies must form an uneasy alliance to combat the diabolical Mr Fluffy as he tightens his grip on his new universal empire. With Fate and Destiny left wondering what went wrong can Alienbutt still be the saviour of the Ick Empire or will the universe fall to utter ruin?

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

With my stories I try to take a totally ridiculous idea and turn it into a story that is not just (hopefully) funny but also action packed.
The Alienbutt Saga is based around humanity using coffee, which is the most addictive drug ever know, to take control of the universe. Only the last Alienbutt and the Ick Empire can stop them, well that is until a new evil rises to challenge both sides. The mysterious Mr Fluffy is a super intelligent cat who aims to take control of the universe that rightly belongs to him anyway. The story is full of epic space battles and strange science as war rips apart the universal peace.
John the Barman is about putting gods and supernatural beings into everyday situations of having jobs they hate, retirement and growing old and online dating problems. Also my other short story series in the Vampire Eloim Stories, the tale of a teenage cross dressing vampire struggling to stay out of trouble as a Demon Empress tries to hunt him down. A young vampire that is stylish (even if it is his sister’s outfit he’s wearing.) but doesn’t think twice about killing and would only go to a school to drink all the cheer leaders.

Why do I write what I do?
I have a twisted sense of humour and like to look at the world and see the bizarre in everyday things. I get random ideas and sometimes they come together into something I can make into a story. I would struggle to write a story that didn’t have a slightly twisted angle to the subject as my brain can’t cope with serious, so I’m left to my own devices so far to just be that strange person telling daft stories.

How does my writing process work?
Well the easy answer is I sit with a glass of whisky and drink, type and refill the glass. This is because I only really get the peace on an evening to sit down, relax and write. During the day there’s always things that need doing (Facebook isn’t a distraction at all, honest.) and until I sell enough books I can’t afford a housekeeper. I get ideas from anywhere, a random conversation or just letting my mind wander. John the Barman came from a Facebook status update and the equally twisted minds of people on my friends list. I don’t have any rules for writing, never set targets (I always miss them) I just see an idea and try to see where it will go. If it’s a good idea then the words will flow and I end up with something, if not it’s back to Candy Crush until another idea forms. Another good point of my writing style is I’m lazy so because of my subject matter I don’t need to do a lot of research, I really do just make it all up as I go along.

Well that’s me, like I said I’m a story teller as I’m far too unorganised to be an author. Next up on this Blog Tour is one of my favourite horror authors and luckily for me a friend. The founder, with her husband of Gingernut Books who decided they like my daft stories enough to take me on.
So let me introduce the red-headed stealer of souls from the depths of Sherwood Forest, the amazingly talented Michelle Gent. Michelle burst onto the horror scene with the amazing Deadlier… than the Male, a sprawling epic that introduced readers to her world of wolfkind. With more books following plus her Dusty the Demon Hunter series she has established herself as a mistress of horror.

Her blog can be found here:
http://www.dmichellegent.co.uk/blog.html

The last man to enter Parliament with honest intentions.

Guy Fawkes, probably the most famous traitor in British history, a name and face now linked as much with the modern fight against political corruption as the plot that got him killed. Yet how many people now remember much about the failed gunpowder plot? True we have bonfire night still and in some cases a guy is still burnt as fireworks explode but was guy Fawkes really the freedom fighter he is now painted as, the man who set out to bring down the government?
Well in a word, no he wasn’t. For a start it wasn’t even his plan, he was just the bloke who knew how to make things go bang and got the job of lighting the fuse.
The whole idea was actually Robert Catesby’s, a catholic zealot who wanted England to return to being a catholic state so planned to assassinate the king and entire privy council at the state opening of parliament. Now Catholics in England had not had the best of fortunes since good old King Henry VIII had taken control of the English church and things got worse under Queen Elizabeth I. In the new protestant land being catholic really didn’t go down too well. When King James I took the throne many Catholics hoped things would get easier but that didn’t happen.
So this Catesby began to gather his band of religious fanatics with the aim of placing a nine year old Princess Elizabeth, daughter of the king, on the throne as a catholic head of state. Catesby brought Guy Fawkes in as the explosive expert, a man with a decade of military experience fighting for the Catholics in the Dutch Revolt. Now being a man of strong religious belief it is believed that Catesby realised for his plan to work and the House of Lords to be redesigned by twenty barrels of gunpowder there would be quite a large loss of life. This plot would kill more than just the king and the others placed before his little princess in succession. In the grand tradition of a religious fanatic considering mass murder Catesby did the only thing possible, he went to see a priest. The priest in question was the principle Jesuit in England, Father Henry Garnet. Now the two met on three occasions but at the first meeting Catesby mentioned the morality of ‘killing innocents’ and how god and the pope would view it. Garnet said such actions could be excused but was worried enough to send messages to Rome asking that they forbid rebellion against the crown. At their next meeting Garnet showed this letter and tried to turn Catesby from his course. While Garnet knew of a plot but not the details he could not reveal it as it was protected by the rules of catholic confession. His hands tied Henry Garnet was dragged into the plot and the consequences when it failed. Now I dwell on Henry Garnet for one main reason, he was born close to where I now sit, in my very village in fact.
Henry was one of at least five siblings who started his education in Nottingham before entering Winchester College in Winchester, Hampshire where he excelled. With a place at New College, Oxford guaranteed he chose instead to move to London and worked for a legal publisher. In an ironic twist he also often dined with Sir John Popham who would later preside over the trials of the gunpowder plotters. In 1575 though he set sail to Portugal and entered the Society of Jesus, travelling later to Rome he was eventually sent back to England. The Jesuit order had been banished from England and any priest arrested would be charged with high treason so Garnet lived his life in hiding. A man who preached peace and worked for acceptance he became an unwitting victim of Catesby’s plot.
After things went ‘tits-up’ Garnet was forced to go on the run but it wasn’t long before he was captured and ‘questioned’. His response to being threatened with the rack does stand out, "Minare ista pueris” Threats are for boys.
With the use of forgeries but mainly torture Garnet finally revealed he had heard of the plot from another priest Oswald Tesimond who had heard it in confession from Catesby.
Charged with high treason he was found guilty and sentenced to death, accused of being an instigator of the plot. His execution was to be hung, drawn and quartered although when he was thrown from the ladder to be hung members of the crowd are said to have pulled on his legs so he was dead before he could be cut down alive and serve the rest of his punishment. His head was then displayed on a pole at London Bridge, probably the innocent victim Catesby had asked about.

HRH the Queen blogs about why America can not return to British rule.

Today we have a guest blog from a very special person, so I would like you to all stand for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Now the Queen doesn’t normally write blogs so this is a great honour for us. So without further delay I give you the Queen.



Good morning peasants and other riff raff from around the world. I am here to squash any hopes that some of those colonials have of Great Britain taking the United States back under our protection during your time of lacking an operating government. Despite posts on your social media of any interest my nation may have they simply are not true. For us to take back America would be like me having Charles move back into the Palace. Now Charles is not such a bad sort in his own way but his new wife is not so agreeable. Now don’t get me wrong, at social engagements she isn’t such a bad old trout but I wouldn’t be wanting to share the bathroom with her is all.
So I have compiled a list of the main five reasons we will not be sending a rescue force to liberate America.

1. Your sports. Quite simply the sports you have suck and there’s no way I can sugar coat that. This American Football is a total joke to the rest of the sporting world, especially the Rugby playing nations. You dress up in all that padding and safety equipment to play what is essentially a cheap rip off of Rugby. Why you thought it would be a good idea to call a ball game football when they carry the ball is beyond our understanding. The next of your ridicules sports in that Indie car racing, talk about dull. Where are the bends and turns? A monkey could drive a car in a big loop so you should all check out Formula 1 to see some real driving at speed. Finally I will come to Baseball, well what can I say about groups of grown men playing Rounders? It’s a children’s game so just grow up and find an adult sport.

2. You are responsible for some of the worst television ever to come to the small screen. Now I know that a few of your shows are decent but what were you thinking with Honey Boo Boo? You make a show about such total peasants and then inflict it on the world. Wasn’t the Kardashians mind numbing enough? Filming horrible people living their lives is not entertainment and the amount of money they have makes no difference. You keep shows like that on-air yet cancel Firefly, there is no logic in the way you decide what shows to make. One was not happy at losing that eye candy Mal from the screen.

3. Piers Morgan. You have him over there now and we no longer have to put up with the smug little twerp. The whole nation had a party when he left our shores to go and live in America and we don’t want him back or even living in one of our colonies.

4. Your religion just doesn’t fit in with the British way. I am the head of the Church here, not some silly little man in Rome. The Catholic Church and its followers make far too much noise on a Sunday Morning, this doesn’t please me as I do relax on a Saturday night and drink a few large glasses of Pimms. The Church needs to start making less noise and just do the silent praying part so my hangover is not disturbed.
Also even worse than this is those Creationist, I know God gave mankind free will but that doesn’t mean you choose to be so bloody stupid. To even teach that Creationist crap in schools is just stupid, if you want fiction and fantasy then read Lord of the Rings.

5. Your politicians suck even worse than ours. Even the current crop of bland faceless morons who sit in Westminster would never try to cripple and blackmail the country by forcing the civil service to shut down. You have a group of total tossers sitting making your laws and running the country. Even in the light of the total proof of this when they did shut down your government you still have people supporting them and blaming the other side.


So thank you for your time, now sod off the audience is over.


RELEASE THE CORGIES AND GET RID OF THIS RABBLE!

Lucifer, the dancing Warden.

The Prince of Lies or a victim a smear campaign.
Lucifer is many things to different people but who is the real Prince of Hell? An exclusive interview with the fallen angel as the divine creatures of the world prepare for the release of a warts and all book that reveals their antics when not at work.


You are know to most people as the fallen angel who was thrown out of Heaven for leading a rebellion. What caused you to take such drastic action?

That whole rebellion thing has been blown out of all proportion as to be honest there never was a rebellion in heaven. The truth of what happened was God realised that you humans were rather a nasty bunch and a fair few of you would need to be punished for your actions during your lives. As a result he got together with a bunch of us angels and we decided that we needed a place to send the horrid gits to avoid heaven getting full of scumbags. I was all set to go off and study the expressive arts and dance but Michael pulled a fast one and put me forward to run our new prison. To be honest most of our brothers couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery so there was only the two of us in the running. Michael said to me he was up for taking the job but then went behind my back to God to convince him I should get the it. I was so busy training for my dance classes that I missed what he was up to. Anyway to cut a long story short Michael got to stay up in heaven as the big angel boss and I became the prison warden.

So there really never was a war in heaven?

No, although when we left we did have a bit of a leaving party that ended in a punch up and I made sure Michael finished the night with a black eye. We may have left heaven but we bashed some heads on our way out.

So you’re not actually the lord of evil then?

Oh yes, I’m that as well, you see we take on aspects of what people believe we are. So down in hell between punishing the damned we think up pranks and stuff to play on humanity. Nothing serious like, just a few practical jokes so the angels have to run around and do something. We leave all the real evil stuff for humanity to come up with themselves.

Could you give us a few examples of these practical jokes you play?

Not really as it’s fun watching you argue about what I’ve done and what I haven’t. I will say that whole ‘The devil told me to do it.’ thing that people use as a defence is rubbish. I don’t tell people to do things that kill people, it’s against the rules and we get you in the end so there’s no rush.

So as you're partly about the sin and the avarice have you ever given out the Euromillions lottery numbers to your followers in return for them doing deeds on your behalf?

You need to remember my main job is to keep the bad guys locked up and to see they are punished. Yes we do like to have a bit of fun now and then, cause a bit of trouble but there is just no way we can compete with the evil stuff you come up with so we don’t even try. As for the lottery numbers I don’t have a clue what they would be, maybe one of the Irish gods could help people with that.

What is your views on bacon?

We love it down in hell, I mean who doesn’t love bacon. New inmates are always surprised when they first arrive as hell doesn’t smell of sulphur but it smells of frying bacon. It’s one of our best punishments really, to spend an eternity being able to smell bacon but never being allowed to eat it. An interesting fact about bacon and pork is the whole religious thing about not eating it came from Michael. He sneaked his own views on vegetarianism in there, god couldn’t give a rats arse if you eat pork.

You’ve been portrayed many times in films so which is your own personal favourite version of you?

Well that’s a hard one, I think De Nero plays me quiet well but my favourite version of me is from a music video by Tenacious D. The guy from Foo fighters was great at being me, I still can’t get over how much he looks like the drummer from Nirvana though.

If you could do it all again, what would you do different?

I regret Jedward, it was just a joke but you lot just kept running with it and voting for them. I do think I would like to change that if I got the chance, they were on reflection just too much.

The book ‘John the Barman’ lifts the lid on a lot of what divine and supernatural people get up to, are you worried about how you may come across?

Not really, John’s bar is a place where we all go to unwind and the book should show how we all work together. I know Thor is grumbling about the book but he always finds something to grumble about so we just let him get on with it. Most of us are looking forward to it actually and even though a few bits had to be removed for legal reasons it does portray how we really are when we’re not working. What people don’t understand is we’re just one big happy family and just because we have different religions it doesn’t mean we don’t get on. I mean it would be really stupid if I didn’t get on with old Jupiter just because his followers called a festival by a different name and sacrificed a cow or something. I mean when we first started doing this we often went to the old gods for tips and advice, we used their experience and wisdom. You’re never going to get very far in our game if you don’t pool resources with the other gods.



You will find more about Lucifer in John the Barman, the new short story eBook by Glenn Scrimshaw and published through Gingernut Books. Available through Amazon and other online shops.