My Writing Process, author blog tour.

My Writing Process - Blog Tour.
Well here goes nothing then; Rob Bayliss tagged me in this author blog tour where we all talk about our different writing styles. Rob is the author of The Sun Shard novel and is currently working on the follow up Flint and Steel, Fire and Shadow. (The Sun Shard is available from Amazon so go find it and check it out.) Now while as many of you know I’m not really an author but a story teller it seems I’ve still not been found out yet and kicked out of the author lounge. To read Robs blog on his writing process just follow this link –
http://sunshard.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/my-writing-process-blog-tour.html?spref=fb


So let’s get down to the questions and see if I can give you some answers that make at least a little sense.

1. What am I working on?
At the moment I’m struggling with two stories and working on whichever I seem to be getting the ideas for. The first one is another story based around my John the Barman short story. This is a mysterious owner of a bar where gods and all sorts of supernatural creatures go to unwind after a hard day doing their job. It fills in the blanks of what these creatures really do and think about and the day to day trials of their lives. In the second story Lucifer, Death and a group of the customers decide they need a holiday to escape the stress of work. What follows is a no experience spared ‘lads’ package holiday which includes them coping with budget airlines and ensuring you get a sun lounger by the pool. Sunburn and drunken nights abound as the group experience their first holiday ever.
The second work in progress is the ever so slightly later than promised Third Book in the Alienbutt Saga. This comedy space opera sees the hero, Piestoff Alienbutt left leading the Ick and rebels of the Outer Systems after the bloody rise of the evil Mr Fluffy. With the universe in tatters and the heart of the Federation and Coffee Houses ripped apart old enemies must form an uneasy alliance to combat the diabolical Mr Fluffy as he tightens his grip on his new universal empire. With Fate and Destiny left wondering what went wrong can Alienbutt still be the saviour of the Ick Empire or will the universe fall to utter ruin?

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

With my stories I try to take a totally ridiculous idea and turn it into a story that is not just (hopefully) funny but also action packed.
The Alienbutt Saga is based around humanity using coffee, which is the most addictive drug ever know, to take control of the universe. Only the last Alienbutt and the Ick Empire can stop them, well that is until a new evil rises to challenge both sides. The mysterious Mr Fluffy is a super intelligent cat who aims to take control of the universe that rightly belongs to him anyway. The story is full of epic space battles and strange science as war rips apart the universal peace.
John the Barman is about putting gods and supernatural beings into everyday situations of having jobs they hate, retirement and growing old and online dating problems. Also my other short story series in the Vampire Eloim Stories, the tale of a teenage cross dressing vampire struggling to stay out of trouble as a Demon Empress tries to hunt him down. A young vampire that is stylish (even if it is his sister’s outfit he’s wearing.) but doesn’t think twice about killing and would only go to a school to drink all the cheer leaders.

Why do I write what I do?
I have a twisted sense of humour and like to look at the world and see the bizarre in everyday things. I get random ideas and sometimes they come together into something I can make into a story. I would struggle to write a story that didn’t have a slightly twisted angle to the subject as my brain can’t cope with serious, so I’m left to my own devices so far to just be that strange person telling daft stories.

How does my writing process work?
Well the easy answer is I sit with a glass of whisky and drink, type and refill the glass. This is because I only really get the peace on an evening to sit down, relax and write. During the day there’s always things that need doing (Facebook isn’t a distraction at all, honest.) and until I sell enough books I can’t afford a housekeeper. I get ideas from anywhere, a random conversation or just letting my mind wander. John the Barman came from a Facebook status update and the equally twisted minds of people on my friends list. I don’t have any rules for writing, never set targets (I always miss them) I just see an idea and try to see where it will go. If it’s a good idea then the words will flow and I end up with something, if not it’s back to Candy Crush until another idea forms. Another good point of my writing style is I’m lazy so because of my subject matter I don’t need to do a lot of research, I really do just make it all up as I go along.

Well that’s me, like I said I’m a story teller as I’m far too unorganised to be an author. Next up on this Blog Tour is one of my favourite horror authors and luckily for me a friend. The founder, with her husband of Gingernut Books who decided they like my daft stories enough to take me on.
So let me introduce the red-headed stealer of souls from the depths of Sherwood Forest, the amazingly talented Michelle Gent. Michelle burst onto the horror scene with the amazing Deadlier… than the Male, a sprawling epic that introduced readers to her world of wolfkind. With more books following plus her Dusty the Demon Hunter series she has established herself as a mistress of horror.

Her blog can be found here:
http://www.dmichellegent.co.uk/blog.html

Who really was St. Valentine

Well after a few false starts on this Valentines blog I’ve decided to go with the facts on St. Valentine. So who was he? Simple answer is apart from the fact he was an early Christian priest and martyr nothing is known about him apart from the day on which he was beaten and the beheaded. Saint Valentine ( Or Valentinus to give him his real name.) may be a widely recognized third century Roman saint who died on February 14th but there the truth stops. All the rest is information added centuries later and further muddled by the fact there are three St. Valentines associated with February 14th . It gets better, in all there are eleven other saints having the name Valentine commemorated in the Roman Catholic Church.
So how did St. Valentine become associated with a day for love and romance? Well one reason was Geoffrey Chaucer and a poem he wrote to celebrate the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, in in particular this line from the poem known as Parlement of Foules.

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.
This makes even my spelling look good but here is the translation:
"For this was on Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."

Well this one line about birds getting all loved up really started the whole day of love that is the 14th of February. Chaucer wasn’t the only one that was fascinated by the private lives of Mr and Mrs Bird. It was *ahem* ‘fair game’ around this period of time with at least three other authors doing their own versions of fifty shades of feathers. So there you go, the day of love started out as badly spelt poems about ruffled feathers in the late 1300’s.
So a little of the myth, this St. Valentine was an early Christian priest who is reported to have broken Roman law by performing weddings for soldiers and for spreading the teachings of Christ. The story goes that the Roman Emperor at the time, Claudius II supposedly had this great idea that married men did not make good soldiers and so outlawed marriage as he sought to increase his army. Saint Valentine ignored this law and performed weddings and also cut heart shapes from parchment, giving them to the soldiers and other persecuted Christians. These hearts were a gentle reminder to his flock of God's love and to encourage them to remain faithful Christians.
Not surprisingly his action drew the attention of the authorities and he was dragged before the Roman Emperor Claudius II. (mental images of Monty Python’s life of Brian and Pilate shouting: Thwow him to the floor spring to mind.) Claudius was impressed by Valentine and made an offer that if he converted to Roman paganism he could live. Valentine refused to be swayed and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. This wasn’t the smartest move he ever made and he was condemned to be executed. While awaiting his execution he performed a miracle by healing Julia, the blind daughter of his jailer Asterius. This act resulted in the jailer and his family converting to Christianity and they were all baptized. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote a note to Julia, the first ever ‘valentine’ card, signing it as "Your Valentine."
Saint Valentine was buried in the Church of Praxedes in Rome, located near the cemetery of St Hippolytus. According to legend, Julia herself planted a pink-blossomed almond tree near his grave. The almond tree remains a symbol of abiding love and friendship to this day.

So why would the Romans not like and persecute this small religious cult and kill so many of its followers? Well look at things from the Roman point of view. These Christians were a sect from the Jewish faith and the Jews were not really in favour in Rome at the time. Added to this they refused to acknowledge the Roman religions and ways so were also seen as traitors. But here is the clincher, the actions that kept the arena lions fed. These Christians had secret rites but details were known, they met in secret and drank the blood of Jesus and ate his flesh. This Jesus, who was a criminal who had been executed but then rose from the dead. In the very heart of the Empire was a secret cult that was spreading its vile practices. The Roman people came to the only conclusion that fitted the known facts, the Empire was under attack from Vampires.

Well with so few facts know about this St’ Valentine I’m running with this idea as it fits the rumours of the day. The patron saint of love was a blood sucker and the Emperor Claudius II had his head chopped off to prevent him rising from his grave.

Meet the vampire Eloim.

From bleed with style.
Polly moved quickly across the flat rooftops, easily leaping across the gaps between buildings. She had an athletic build and had fallen into a long loping stride. She was of above average height but men always noticed her long well-toned legs that she loved to show off at every opportunity. She ignored the driving rain that fell in sheets, driven by the strong wind as she ran. Her long black hair had been tied into a ponytail to keep it out of her face as she ran. Her only real concession to the weather was a full length leather coat, but this was more to keep the various weapons secreted about her person dry than herself. She had just received a telephone call that a group of Slayers had been reported in the city and one of her brothers was unaccounted for. Out of all her brothers she hadn’t had to ask who it was that was missing; of course it had to be him. Of all the clan he had caused more trouble in his short existence than any other, a walking disaster with fangs. If there was trouble to be had then he would be found in the middle of it. Keeping the young vampires in line and safe had been difficult before but now he was around it was growing impossible.
Coming to the end of the row of buildings, she paused. On the street below a police patrol car was parked, the occupants happy to stay dry inside the car this night. With a giant leap she landed on the roof some twenty feet away on the opposite side of the street, the police none the wiser for her passing. As she moved along the new line of flat roofs she picked up the faint scent of blood and she knew that she had guessed right on where her missing brother would be. Coming to the end of the buildings she knelt down and peered into the alley below. Her missing brother stood in the centre of the alley in one of his usual ridiculous outfits. For some reason he refused to just blend in. He always seemed to dress to be noticed; far too many sequins and thigh high leather high heels. For a vampire this was not a normal trait, as when you were hunting you didn’t want your prey to see you coming. Before her brother a body was sprawled on the floor, obviously dead and the source of the scent of blood. Ten other figures stood in a semi-circle before him all ready to spring forward and attack the lone vampire. They were armed with wooden stakes, crucifixes and other tools that slayers used to hunt down her kind. Standing up she shook her head. head. Trust him to find the slayers and then stand and face them rather than running. With a deep sigh she stepped forward and walked off the edge of the roof.

Scrimshaw, Glenn (2012-02-11). Bleed with Style (Kindle Locations 81-83). Gingernut Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

In recent times many of the vampires you meet in books have become safe, friendly high school misfits who drink blood from a glass rather than a cheerleader’s neck. So here comes Eloim, a teenage vampire with a couple of oddities. Well firstly he kills people and if you sent him to school then he would see it as an all you could eat buffet. Secondly, Eloim loves fashion and expresses his passion by stealing and wearing his sister’s clothes. Life for the teenage vampire is tough, surrounded by a large family that are always watching him to try and keep him out of trouble, which is Eloim’s second favourite thing. He has a natural knack for finding it and even when he tries to be good it backfires.

Not only does he have to survive the normal growing pains of a vampire discovering his powers but he also has to watch out for a Demon Empresses who makes him her number one target.
Discover a new vampire icon that may sparkle but would still rip your throat out in the first of two short stories available for you e-reader from online book stores

INTERVIEW WITH A WEREWOLF.

Today I would like to welcome my first ever guest into the Whisky lounge,since first learning of her i have been a big fan. It is an honour to introduce a lady know as Sentinel Exemplar or Red for short.
*holds up whisky bottle*
Drink?


Thank you. I drink brandy or Glayva please, neat, with ice.


*grabs bottle of brandy*
Over the last few years a series of books have been written about your life Red, so first how do you feel about the publicity this has brought to what had been a very secretive life?

There hasn’t been so much publicity per se. Humes still don’t seem to believe we’re real and so our Hide in Plain Sight Policy is paying off. I Believe Humes would be shocked if they realised exactly how many of us are in the higher positions of power in the country. It’s fortunate that I’m not a name-dropper.

Now some people out there may not have heard of you or what you do yet so could you give us a brief introduction on yourself? Who are you, what do you do?

I am known as different titles and names to different people. Some know me as Sentinel Exemplar, which is my correct title. Some know me as Sentinel; others know me as Red which is a nick-name that I use with pride. The more Ancient ones have always known me as Hazel and I shall be known as such forever to them. Others know me briefly as “Oh my god! What the hell is that! Arrgh!” but I’ll leave it to your imagination why they call me that.

*nervous laugh*
I mentioned to a few friends that I would be interviewing a werewolf and I got quite a few question suggestions, now first how do you refer to your kind? Are you werewolf, wolfmen or wolves?

We use the term ‘Wolf’ – we are not ‘werewolf’ which means ‘man wolf’ – to be part ‘man’ would make us less than we are.

And SooderFolley wanted to know if it really hurts when you change? Or is it seamless and natural?

I believe it did hurt at one time when I changed, but I cannot remember. As the years and decades pass, we perhaps learn to live with the pain and it becomes less either because we are used to it or because we become stronger and can withstand the pain better.
It does not hurt me to change.

So has it ever happen unexpectedly to you, like while you were on the toilet, and did you have to run outside to finish...?

Which disrespectful Hume asked that question? I shall deal with him when he is least expecting it!

*gulp*
What is the most annoying part of the legend vs. the reality? Are there any misconceptions about werewolves you would like to clear up?

No. It is convenient for us that Humes believe what they believe. I don’t want to give away any of our secret, do I? I believe that the Author of these books, D Michelle Gent has done enough damage to our secrets, I shall not add to the damage.

So cutting to the meat of the main gripe people would have with your kind, eating people. Are people like wine and meat, does age make a difference to the taste? Or do people just taste like Chicken?

Humes taste like Humes. There is a scent to them, a flavour that is enhanced by many things, adrenalin being the most delicious. But alcohol in the blood and certain drugs, narcotics, amphetamines can also add a certain something to the effect but I don’t often hunt Humes these days. I don’t need to feed on Humes for my strength and power. I am an Ancient Wolf and I enjoy the benefits of being Ancient.

So you remember what the wolf does in human form? Did you ever sniff another wolf bum and then regret it in the morning?

Again, the disrespectful Hume that asked the question may do well to keep indoors on the next Full Moon! I may forego my ethics on hunting Humes for that one.

Erm, let move quickly on, Natalie Eagle Eye Berry wanted to know if there are there any vegetarian werewolves?

There are Wolves that hibernate and therefore don’t need to feed but not eating meat? Why? We have been given these wonderfully sharp, pointy teeth for the purpose of slicing through flesh, biting down on a juicy, blood-engorged piece of meat is such a delight, why would a Wolf ever decide not to?
Can you hurry up? I’m suddenly hungry.


OK well jump to some real serious questions from the public, a sort of quick fire round.This is the main things the humans want to know, the real big issues. Many of my female friends really wanted me to ask, have you ever met any hot vampires?

A while ago, I would have said – in fact, I actually did say – there are no such things as vampires. I have since had a change of opinion, though I have yet to meet one.
There are, however, a good many hot Wolves. Nichasin for example, is one. Luke, my estranged husband is considered to be ‘hot’ and there are many more besides. There are many Wolves in our society that keep their gland usage up in order to maintain their youth and fitness and oh boy! Do they!

Are there any famous werewolves? Jason Hewitt has always suspected Huge Jackman, and I can totally see that.

As I said before, I am no name-dropper but just take a look around. Thosee Humes with ultimate confidence in themselves, those that seem to know that they are attractive, could they be Wolf? That is for you to find out perhaps. There is something about being Wolf that gives one such an air of invulnerability that it difficult to disguise and so it is easy for them to get into careers where their looks play an important part.
As for Hugh Jackman, I couldn’t possibly comment.

If you could turn any one you wanted without any ramifications, who would it be and why?

*Laughs* I can! The clever bit is to not turn them.

Do you stop to pee on lampposts?
*Growls*

*looks worried* Have you ever tried a tin of dog food?

Enough! Disrespectful Hume! Would you like to be the starter for my main meal when I find the Hume that asked those questions?

Not my fault, I'm just asking the questions.
There were quite a few questions asked about grooming, do you catch fleas for instance and do they stay on you when you change back to human form? Does Frontline flea and tick work for Werewolves or would you use Headrin?

If we do get fleas, they desert once the body reverts back to our more humanoid form. There is no need for chemicals.


I was told by a friend that an easy werewolf test for when you’re in human form, throw a stick and see if they twitch ;)

Perhaps we should meet that particular Hume and see who it is that twitches first?

Never been tempted to join in a game of fetch when walking through a park?

Sometimes, I have walked through parks and had the ‘urge’ as you say, to play fetch, perhaps in the days when parks were more dense and less populated and the thing that I was ‘fetching’ had a good covering of flesh and a pulse.

I think that I have indulged you enough, Hume. I am on Facebook and Twitter and I shall find those disrespectful Humes. I don’t need to wait for Full Moon, but for them, I will.

The amazing Red left at this point looking rather angry.
You can learn more about the amazing Red in D Michelle Gents books. (links below)


www.gingernutbooks.co.uk

http://www.gingernutbooks.co.uk/sales.html

http://www.gingernutbooks.co.uk/dmichellegent.html

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=d+michelle+gent&x=16&y=19

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=d+michelle+gent&x=16&y=19

And follow Michelle on Facebook here- http://www.facebook.com/DMichelleGentAuthor
Twitter here-Twitter: @ShellGent
And here blog here- http://d-michelle-gent.blogspot.com/2010/07/here-we-go.html