When I am Emperor this is how things are going to work.
A ten point plan to show why I should be your Emperor.
The current political system is not working, there is greed and corruption everywhere and the social network of our once great nation is crumbling. Join my revolution to change how our nation is ruled and run so we can enter a new era of greatness.
The economy is failing as our leaders don’t have a clue how to fix it.
1. When I take over the running of our country the first job is to remove the nation’s debt. As we are a new regime we take no responsibility for the miss-management of our nation and this debt does not belong to our new nation. (In the same way as if you move into a house any debts from the previous occupiers does not become your debt.) We will hand over any living ex leaders and members of their government for trial for the fraud they have committed against the world’s banking systems.
2. Tax loophole will be closed with a new and simple law.
“Any person or company that is registered or does business within our borders that is found guilty of tax avoidance is committing fraud and is liable to a repay up to five times the sum of tax unpaid. Any accounting firms or individuals aiding those avoiding paying their legal tax amount will face up to life imprisonment. The tax office and not the courts have final say on what is tax avoidance.”
3. All unemployment and housing benefits will be replaced by Government task force payments. To be entitled to receive this payment all claimants must complete forty hours of work within their community to improve it. Existing employment laws will cover the Government task force workers. Those unable to work because of health issues will not be affected.
4. Crime and punishment will be overhauled with the introduction of lie-detectors to run alongside other evidence provided by the police. Many trials by jury will be replaced by Jeremy Kyle style interviews with those found guilty facing longer prison sentences.
5. Paedophiles will be shot to prevent any chance of reoffending.
6. Anti-social behaviour will be dealt with by public flogging for repeat offenders. Social unrest will be met by water cannon, tear gas and rubber bullets in all cases. Anyone found wearing jeans with their butts hanging out will be horsewhipped.
7. Parliament will be overhauled with the removal of MP’s expenses. All MP’s will be housed in a tower block close to Westminster and receive a bus pass that allows them to commute to and from Westminster. Wages will be set at the same level as trainee traffic wardens to reflect the public opinion of those at Westminster.
8. The Royal family will remain but become the stars of a Big Brother style reality show. The royal family will be given the freedom to be themselves at all time and express their own opinions. Extra Beer and show girls will be available to party with Prince Harry each weekend.
9. The UK will pull out of the European Union and repeal Laws that would adversely affect the running of our country. The defence of our borders will be decided by our military commanders. Any foreign nation not agreeing with our new policies will be told to ‘suck it up’
10. The Emperor (that’s me) has the right to overrule any act of parliament or decision of the courts that is not in the favour of the people. In other words I’m the boss and it happens as I say it does.